Sometimes You Have To Suffer in Life, Not Because You Were Bad, But Because You Didn’t Realise Where And When To Stop Being Good

Tibb.In
3 min readOct 5, 2023

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Life often teaches us that the path to personal growth and kindness is a virtuous one. We are encouraged to be good to others, to lend a helping hand, and to spread positivity wherever we go. While these values are undoubtedly important, there comes a point when being excessively good can lead to suffering, not because you were bad, but because you didn’t realize where and when to stop being good.

Photo by MEUM MARE

The Virtue of Kindness

Kindness is a cornerstone of human relationships and societal harmony. It fosters empathy, compassion, and goodwill. Acts of kindness not only benefit others but also bring a sense of fulfillment and purpose to our lives. However, it’s crucial to recognize that there can be too much of a good thing.

The Pitfall of Overextending

The desire to help and please others can lead us down a slippery slope if left unchecked. When we continuously put others’ needs ahead of our own, we risk overextending ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally. This selflessness, while admirable, can lead to burnout, resentment, and even a sense of victimhood.

Photo by Kate

Setting Boundaries

Learning when and how to say “no” is a vital aspect of self-care. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it’s a way to protect your well-being and maintain a healthy balance in your life. Setting boundaries is an act of self-compassion, allowing you to allocate time and energy to your own needs and goals.

The Art of Self-Care

Self-care is not selfish; it’s a necessary practice for your physical and mental health. It includes activities that rejuvenate you, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or simply taking time to relax. By prioritizing self-care, you recharge your emotional batteries, making it possible to continue being good to others without sacrificing your own happiness.

Photo by Si Luan Pham

Recognizing Toxic Relationships

Sometimes, suffering arises not from your own goodness but from toxic relationships that take advantage of your kindness. It’s crucial to identify and distance yourself from individuals who exploit your goodwill. Surround yourself with people who appreciate your kindness and reciprocate it.

Photo by Alena Darmel

Being good and kind is a noble pursuit, but it’s essential to strike a balance. Sometimes, suffering in life results not from a lack of goodness but from an excess of it. Recognizing when to set boundaries, practice self-care, and distance yourself from toxic influences can help you maintain your well-being while continuing to make the world a better place with your kindness.

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